I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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