1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
