No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
