omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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