so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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