Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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