I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
