bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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