so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
