just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize