Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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