the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
