I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
