Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
