butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
