Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
did i just pee glitter
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
