she was so not down for the gang bang
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
