I'm eating all of the evidence.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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