my vag is so smooth its legendary
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
