I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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