I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
