fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
