No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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