So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
