i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
