Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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