Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
