i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
