tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
