is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
