is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize