i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize