last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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