i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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