That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
