apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
