i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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