Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
