Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize