did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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