Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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