she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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