I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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