Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
