I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
as a side note pls kill me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
