Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
