I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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