a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize