my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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