I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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