did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
