Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
