I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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