; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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