Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
