Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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